


Lament

by Musical_Fandom



Series: Bad End Oneshots [15]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Bad Ending, Dubcon Kissing, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, M/M, Memory Alteration, One Shot, Royal's Bad End
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29767689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musical_Fandom/pseuds/Musical_Fandom
Summary: Something's wrong with Akira and Goro wants to help.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: Bad End Oneshots [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2168133
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	Lament

LeBlanc was quiet. Even on its busier days, the customers were spread out so that there were never more than one or two people in the shop. This was something Goro had always liked about the small cafe. Combine it with the lovely atmosphere and the cute barista and it was a perfect place to spend his time.

The smell of coffee hit him as soon as he walked through the door. The sound of the bell got the attention of Akira who stood behind the counter alone. No doubt left to man the shop while Sakura went off to run some errands or spend time with his daughter. Akira's eyes widened slightly at the sight of him, Goro figured it must have just been odd to see him there so early. Normally he went to get some coffee after work but today he felt the urge to head straight there. Luckily, he didn't have any other obligations for the day so he could go ahead unimpeded with his plans.

"Good morning Akira." He began pleasantly. He took his usual seat and smiled at the boy in front of him. "I'll take my usual."

Akira stared at him in disbelief for a moment before he slowly nodded. He wordlessly prepared Goro's coffee while occasionally glancing over at him. Something seemed to be putting him on edge but Goro wasn't sure what it could be. 

Akira placed Goro's coffee in front of him. "Um, Akechi-"

"Akechi?" Goro tilted his head and gave an amused smirk. "Why the sudden formality?"

Akira shook his head and gave a weak smile. "Sorry, _Goro_ ," The name sounded foreign coming from Akira despite the fact that they'd been on a first name basis for months. Goro tried his best to shrug it off. "About last night..." 

He tried to think about the night before. A very fuzzy impression of an argument came to mind but nothing beyond that. Goro smiled at Akira. "I'm sorry if I said anything wrong but," He caught Akira's gaze. Something hopeful but sad lingered in it. "I don't really remember what happened."

Akira stared at him for a moment. Goro felt like he was being inspected but he didn't know what was being looked for. "You really don't remember?" Akira finally asked. His words were slow and cautious.

"Should I?" Goro tried to think harder about it but he couldn't. As soon as it felt like he might remember something, his train of thought was abruptly cut off. "Was it something important."

Akira paused for a second to consider before he shook his head. "Not at all."

Goro smiled, "That's good." He finally grabbed the coffee Akira had given him and took his first sip. "I think this might be your best work yet Akira."

Despite the compliment, Akira didn't look pleased. He gave a quick nod and a clearly fake smile. "Thanks." Goro couldn't help but worry.

"Are you _sure_ that nothing happened last night?" He tried his best to give Akira a comforting smile. "It seems like it's bothering you."

"Are you happy?" Akira suddenly asked. Goro looked at him for a moment.

"I'd... like to think so." He said slowly. "What's this about?"

Akira shook his head. "It's nothing." He smiled but it was still wrong. "Want to go somewhere when Sojiro gets back?"

"That sounds nice."

* * *

Goro worried about his friend. Something was clearly wrong with Akira but he wouldn't talk about it. Whenever Goro tried to get him to open up, he just gave a fake smile and pretended like nothing was wrong. His very poor act managed to fool the rest of the group but Goro easily saw through it.

"You're worrying too much." Morgana had told him. "If he says he's fine then I believe him."

Goro couldn't accept that. He couldn't stand to see Akira suffering with whatever he was dealing with. That was what led Goro to invite Akira to his apartment for a movie night. It had taken some convincing but he eventually gave in and accepted.

When Akira walked in Goro's apartment, he looked around as if it were his first time there. His eyes seemed to be especially drawn to the photos on the wall. "I don't remember this one," Akira pointed at a photo of the two of them at Dome Town. He turned and looked at Goro with an almost desperate look. "Could you tell me about it?"

For a moment, Goro just stared at Akira trying to get past the odd request. "That's from last month," He explained, watching Akira for any sign of recognition. "Over winter break everyone else was busy so we..." He trailed off. Something felt off. Akira looked at him expectantly, as if he could sense what Goro was feeling. As he thought about their visit to Dome Town, it felt like something else was there. As if overlapping with his memories, he could picture himself at home with his computer. Some strange sort of desperation as he looked into _something_ that he couldn't even begin to comprehend. 

"What did we do over winter break?" Akira stepped forward. His gaze held a strange intensity that made Goro uncomfortable.

"W-we went to Dome Town." He could feel a headache starting to form as he tried to grasp the other set of memories. They seemed so close and yet he couldn't reach them. For a moment, he felt lightheaded as everything threatened to collapse around him. He looked at Akira and saw hope in his eyes. It distracted him enough to make him pause. As soon as he stopped reaching for the memories, they immediately slipped away leaving him confused and disoriented. He blinked and shook his head. "I'm sorry, what were we talking about?"

Akira deflated. He turned away from the photo and sighed. "Nothing, it's fine." After a second he turned to Goro. "What movie did you have in mind?"

* * *

Goro sat on the train, feeling a growing sense of anxiety. Akira had invited him to the aquarium which was fine. Goro had invited Akira to the aquarium before and nothing bad had come of it. It should have been fine. It would have been fine if not for the intense looks Akira had been giving him since their movie night. He always seemed to look at Goro as if he was planning something. Goro always felt vulnerable under Akira's gaze. It was uncomfortable to say the least. Something told Goro that Akira wasn't looking for a fun day out. He had some sort of ulterior motive but Goro couldn't even begin to think of what it could be.

When he finally arrived at the aquarium there was no sign of Akira so he went in to look for him. He entered the exhibits which were surprisingly empty. It was probably better that way, it made it much easier to find Akira when there weren't crowds for him to blend into. When he finally spotted Akira, all his worries from the train abruptly left along with every other coherent thought in his head. His breath hitched at the sight of Akira bathed in the blue lights of the aquarium. He'd never thought about it before, but blue suited him far too well. The breathtaking sight felt painfully familiar in a way Goro couldn't place.

"Goro!" Akira waved him over once he noticed the other boy. He seemed to be in better spirits than he had been in the beginning of the month. He wasn't exactly happy but he didn't seem quite as miserable.

"G-good afternoon." He cursed himself for being so nervous over nothing. Goro made his way to Akira, unable to look away. The lights of the aquarium lit up his face in a way that made him look almost otherworldly. Goro had always thought he was cute before but now he was downright gorgeous. "I hope I didn't keep you waiting long."

Akira shook his head. "No, you're good." He turned his back to Goro and looked at the fish in the tanks. Goro could see his sad expression reflected on the glass.

"Is something wrong?" Goro took a tentative step forward. Akira's eyes shifted slightly, no doubt to look at Goro's reflection. Other than that, he didn't move at all. "Akira-"

"It's kinda sad, isn't it?" Akira asked. He put his hand against the glass which Goro _knew_ was not allowed. "A bunch of fish trapped for our amusement." He turned and gave Goro a pointed look.

"I-I suppose." Goro couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. He wanted to back away from Akira but he couldn't move. "I've never thought of it like that." He gave a weak smile. "Sounds like something I'd say though. Maybe we've-"

His train of thought was cut off when Akira took a step towards him. Goro didn't miss the desperate look in his eyes. The deep sense of sadness that seemed to accompany everything he did. Goro wanted to do _something_ but he didn't know what. His mind felt like it was going to tear itself in two.

Suddenly, as if he were pushed, Goro quickly closed the gap between himself and Akira. He kissed him without even thinking about it. The odd conflict he felt before abruptly disappeared. For a moment, everything felt right.

Akira never kissed back. When they parted, he looked horrified. Immediately, Goro felt terrible. "I-I'm so sorry- I should have asked before-"

Akira ran without a word. As Goro watched him leave, he somehow felt both empty and overjoyed.

* * *

Goro tried calling. He tried texting. He even tried to go to LeBlanc but he couldn't reach Akira. The rest of February and most of March passed by without any word from him. The only time he saw him was at Makoto and Haru's graduation but even then, he didn't say a word. He didn't even look at Goro nor did he come with his friends to attend _Goro's_ graduation. Still, when Goro managed to get a good look at him, he noticed that Akira looked ashamed. As if _he_ was the one that did something wrong. Goro couldn't take it anymore. He needed to do something.

Goro waited in LeBlanc. It brought him back October when he'd waited to tell Akira he would be a guest speaker at Shujin's school festival. Thinking back on it, he wasn't entirely sure why he'd felt the need to tell Akira in person, especially after he'd already told Makoto he would be accepting. Something about the memory seemed wrong for some reason, it felt like there was some sort of context he was missing. Just as quickly as it came, it went away leaving Goro somewhat lost. He tried to find his way back to his original thought but he just couldn't do it.

After a few hours of waiting and many coffees, Akira walked through the door. His eyes widened when he saw Goro there waiting for him and immediately he looked like he wanted to run. Before he could, Goro quickly jumped out of his seat and grabbed his wrist. "We need to talk." He said before he dragged him upstairs. Akira gave Sakura a pleading look which was met with total indifference.

When they were in Akira's room, Goro made sure to block the stairs. Akira refused to look at him. "Akira, I'm sorry." Goro started. He looked at Akira and waited for a reaction that never came. After a second he sighed and continued. "I'm sorry, I should have-"

"Stop apologizing." Akira snapped. He let out a shaky breath. Goro noticed how tense he became. "It's not- This is all my fault."

Goro took a step forward, suddenly unconcerned about the possibility of Akira escaping. There were more pressing issues. "What are you talking about?" He asked gently. He reached out to Akira who violently recoiled at his touch. "Akira..."

"I-I'm sorry." Goro noticed tears forming in Akira's eyes. He moved to wipe them away and this time, Akira didn't move. "You were right." His voice was so small. Goro couldn't take it. He couldn't stand to see Akira so sad, he just wanted him to be happy.

"Akira," He moved even closer. Before Akira could react, he pulled him into a hug. "I love you."

Suddenly, he was on the ground. He looked up at Akira who was breathing too fast. " ~~ _N̴̢̮͆ö̶͇͖̤́̉̄͛ ̸̹̝̎͋͘y̵̩͍̭͂o̵͙̱̟͋͝͠ú̶̪͌̔ ̴͖̮̗͉̓͒d̸̡̘̃̓̌ǫ̷̘̩̫͑͛n̵̪̝̅̄'̸͈́t̴̤̔ ̵̧̢͖͍̚͝Ȁ̶̟͕̜̂k̸̭̜̒̚͜͠ȩ̶̢͐͋͘ć̴̮h̸̭̯́̆ḯ̶̥͍͒͌̕_!~~" He yelled. Goro could hear that he was saying something but he couldn't comprehend the words. " _ ~~N̴͙̫͝o̶̲̬̿̓̆n̵̬̥͗͂ẻ̴̖̈́ ̷̢̨̏ö̷̖͕̮͆f̷̳̭̲̾̒ ̷̥̼̜̋t̵̤̪̄͘h̸̟͉̊̕͠i̴͈̳̝̋̈͘ŝ̴̟͋ ̷̥͂i̵̖͗͜͝ͅs̶̨̢͖̒ ̵̫̰̏̒͝ř̷̨̯̄͜e̴̛͓ǎ̸̩̺l̶̨̙͔͋͑̔!̵̢͓̔~~_ "

"Akira please-"

"I never should have-" Goro slowly got up. He made his way over to Akira once again. "I'm so selfish."

"I love you." Goro repeated. "I don't care what you think you did Akira. I love you, I have for a while."

Akira stared at him. They both stayed still for a second before Goro leaned in. Akira made no move to stop him when he kissed him. Almost immediately, Akira kissed back. As they kissed, everything felt right. Something seemed to click into place. It felt like this was what he was _meant_ to do.

When Goro pulled away, Akira looked ready to break. He looked away, unable to meet Goro's gaze. "I'm so selfish." He repeated.

"Stop saying that." Goro caressed his cheek and smiled. He gently turned Akira's head so that he was looking at him. "You're not selfish Akira."

"Are you happy Akechi?" Akira looked guilty and desperate. He pulled Goro closer and hugged him. "I need to know if you're happy here."

Goro hugged him back. "As long as I'm with you, I'm happy."

"What about when I'm not around?" Akira hugged him tighter. "Tell me the truth."

Goro paused. He pulled away and looked at Akira. "I..." His mind pulled him in too many directions. The past month had been miserable and he was certain anymore like it would be as well. He wanted to tell Akira that but one look at him eliminated the possibility. "Of course I am." He lied.

Akira nodded. He relaxed somewhat and leaned against Goro. "I'm sorry."

Goro ran his hand through Akira's hair in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. "There's nothing to apologize for." 

"I love you Akechi." Akira's voice was so quiet that Goro almost couldn't hear him. 

"Goro." He looked at Akira and smiled.

Akira nodded and gave a weak smile. "Yeah. Goro..."


End file.
